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Jet Fuel Formula Episode 9: The Bars and Stripes Forever/Transcript
Narrator: 'Well, that make-believe party that Boris was throwing at his house for the moon men developed some unexpected complications. In the first place, after Boris went to all the trouble after mixing up a bucket of mickey finns, Bullwinkle gave the wrong toast. '''Bullwinkle: '''Well, here's to crime. '''Narrator: '''And Boris and Natasha had to drink their own sleeping potion. After that, the gathering broke up rather quickly. ''(Boris and Natasha fall to the ground fast asleeo) 'Bullwinkle: '''Party droopers. '''Narrator: '''Then Rocky arrived and convinced Bullwinkle that he ought to return to his own laboratory. But as our friends left the house... '''FBI Man: '''You are under arrest by order of the United States Government! '''Rocky: '''What for? '''FBI Man: '''We have information there are two spies here. '''Gidney: '''Spies? Who could that be? '''FBI Man: '''Pardon my pointing, but it looks like you two! Grab 'em! '''Narrator: '''But as the special agent grabbed Gidney, Cloyd leveled his scrooch gun... ''(ZAP!) 'Narrator: '...and the agent was instantly frozen solid. '''Rocky: '''Wait a minute! They're not spies! They're visitors from the moon! '''FBI Man: '''The moon? Well, that's a job for State Department. But what about those two? They look suspicious. '''Bullwinkle: '''Sir, you are speaking of our hosts! '''Gidney: '''Oh, I'm sure they're all right. '''Bullwinkle: '''They're just a little punchy is all. '''Rocky: '''Come on, Bullwinkle, we've gotta get back to the lab. '''FBI Man: '''But what about Upthecreek here? We can't just leave him. '''Gidney: '''Oh, he'll be all right. ''(to Cloyd) ''How long did you scrooch him for, Cloyd? '''Cloyd: '''Only fifty years. '''FBI Man: ''(shocked) Fifty years?! '''Bullwinkle: '''Kind of a long wait, ain't it? '''Government Official: '''What'll we do? '''Rocky: '''Hey! I've got an idea! Listen... '''Narrator: '''And so, the next day, there was a special ceremony held in the front of the National Security Building to dedicate a statue of Iris T. Upthecreek, the first special agent to be scrooched in the line of duty. Very few people knew that the statue was really Upthecreek himself, with a coat of white paint to keep him in good condition until he became unscrooched fifty years later. And of course, the real stars of the occasion were the moon men. Everybody wanted to look at them. '''Admiring Woman: '''Oh, they're cute! '''Narrator: '''And in the next few days, the whole country went moon mad. Women immediately adopted the moon-man look. Beauty shops specialized in moon-man hairdos. Pointed heads were all the rage. Gidney and Cloyd were given the key to the city. '''Gidney: '''Delicious! '''Narrator: '''They even made television commercials. '''TV' 'Announcer: '''And this is what the moon man looked like after only six weeks at Dick Fanny's. '''Cloyd: '''Yeah. We used to look like this. '''Narrator: '''Never have so many been so curious about so few. And pretty soon, the pace began to tell on Gidney and Cloyd. They couldn't even eat a meal in peace. '''Gidney: '''Hello, Kirk. '''Cloyd: '''Hello, Marilyn. '''Gidney: '''Hello, Governor. '''Cloyd: '''Hello, Carrie. '''Gidney: '''Hello, Marlin. '''Cloyd: '''Hello, Roger. '''Gidney: '''Hello, Sofia. '''Cloyd: '''Hello, Gidney. '''Gidney: '''Hello, Cloyd. Oh, this has gone far enough! '''Narrator: '''And so, one night, Rocky and Bullwinkle heard a knock on their door. ''(KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! 'Rocky: '''Come in? ''(Rocky sees Gidney and CLoyd as they open the door) 'Rocky: '''Why, it's the moon men! How do you like it here on Earth so far? '''Cloyd: '''It's so wonderful we can't stand it anymore! '''Gidney: '''Look, I've got circles under my circles. '''Cloyd: '''And from shaking so many hands, look...sagging fingers. '''Gidney: '''So, we've gotta leave now. '''Bullwinkle: '''Well, toodle-oo. '''Gidney: '''You don't understand. When I say "we," I mean ''all ''of we. You, too. '''Rocky: '''Us? How come? '''Gidney: '''Well, we can't just leave you here to discover the rocket fuel, you know. '''Bullwinkle: '''But I was just now sending out my laundry! ''(Cloyd's scrooch gun is pointed at Bullwinkle) 'Bullwinkle: '''Oh, well. I guess they can forward it. '''Gidney: '''Quickly now. '''Narrator: '''And the two moon men marched our friends to the field where they had hidden their strange space craft. '''Cloyd: '''Get in. '''Bullwinkle: '''I don't suppose we could pay now and fly later. '''Cloyd: '''In! '''Bullwinkle: '''I didn't think so. '''Narrator: '''The door slammed shut, and with an unearthly sound, the spaceship with our heroes aboard zoomed straight up! Its destination--the moon! Don't fail to see our next episode: ''"Hello, Out There!" or "There's No Place Like Space."